Five Days Grace Page 13

  "That's hard to believe."

  "Really? You don't feel the same way? Is there any man you'd rather be with right now?"

  Grace groaned in frustration. Of course, she felt that way, but she also knew she was crazy to feel that way.

  "He really hurt me, Aidan. And it hasn't been that long. I'm still so mad and hurt and just bewildered. There are days when I can hardly believe it really happened, when I wake up and think Luc—my husband—is still with me. That we're together and nothing bad has happened, that it never will."

  "I get that. I just can't stand the idea of you leaving now and me never seeing you again. That seems far crazier to me than you staying. I just want some time for us, Grace. We can take this cabin apart piece by piece every day, if you want. We can do nothing but walk around the lake and talk. You can tell me your life's story, as much of it as you want, and I'll tell you as much as I can stand of mine, and I'll be a happy man, just because you're here."

  "Aidan—"

  "If you leave now, you're always going to wonder what might have happened between the two of us," he said finally.

  "I know I will," she admitted.

  Chapter 11

  Triumph flared in Aidan's eyes the moment she said it, and Grace thought he might come out of his chair and haul her into his arms.

  But just then, her phone rang, saving her.

  She was so grateful, she answered it without even looking to see who it was, and found her older sister, the shrink, on the line.

  "Hey, sweetie, you made it through a day there. How is it?" Emma asked, because she knew how hard it was for Grace to be there with people who wanted nothing more than to talk about Luc and cry.

  "I met..." She stared at Aidan, who was staring at her and waiting to see what she said. About him. "A dog," she said instead.

  Emma laughed. "That is so not what I thought you were going to say. Where did you meet a dog at your in-laws'?"

  "He's a rescue." After all, Aidan had rescued him. "His owner got sick, and he needs a temporary home, like foster care. I'm thinking about bringing him home with me."

  "Oh."

  "He's very sweet," Grace rushed on. "And he likes me. He makes me laugh. I think he'd be good company for me."

  "Sure. Anything that makes you laugh is good."

  "He's big," Grace said. "Gigantic, really. I'll need a fence. I was going to call dad, but is Rye there?"

  "Not yet. He's picking up Jamie from soccer practice. Want me to have him call you when he gets in?"

  "He could try and see if he can get me. My phone is going in and out on me. Or you could ask him if he and Dad could build me a fence. I'm sure they'll have a million questions, but I don't really care what kind, just something tall, to keep a big dog in."

  "Around the whole back yard?" Emma asked.

  "Yes."

  "Metal or wood?"

  "Whatever's easiest or that they can get up the fastest. If they need to use a crew to do it, I'll pay. Tell them they have to let me pay," she insisted.

  "I'll try, but you know how they get about work for family."

  "I know. Thanks."

  "You sound good, Grace. Happy, even. All this because of a dog?"

  "He's very sweet," she insisted, but she was staring at Aidan, who had a wicked grin on his face. He knew exactly what was going on in her conversation.

  "Must be. Dad said you sounded better—"

  "And you had to hear for yourself?" Grace guessed.

  "Sorry. Caught me. It's just been so long since we've heard you sound like this."

  "I know."

  "If it's the dog, I'm all for it," Emma said. "Is it just the dog?"

  Oh, how like her sister to just know. It was the most irritating thing sometimes, and sometimes it wasn't. Sometimes it was great to have someone who knew her so well and was so sensible and practical.

  "I don't know. It just... hasn't been that long. How long does it take, Em, until I feel like I know what I'm doing or even trust what I'm feeling?"

  "Oh, sweetie, I wish there was an easy answer to that. It's different with everybody, I'm afraid, and not a straight line, from bad times to good ones. More a lot of going back and forth, that life is back to normal one minute, and then it isn't, that it won't ever be. I know it would be so much easier if you crossed some imaginary line, and that was it. You were you again."

  "That's what I want. To cross that line."

  "Everybody in your position does."

  "So, at least I'm normal in that."

  "Afraid so." Emma sighed. "What can I do for you? Anything?"

  "You're doing it. Love you, Em."

  "I love you, too. Oh, when do you need the fence finished? When are you coming home?"

  "Monday night," she said.

  Aidan perked up at that. When she got off the phone, he said in mock outrage, "You lied to me?"

  "I did not."

  "You said Sunday night—"

  "No, you did. I just let you think that. I can't help it if you, expertly trained to detect when someone's lying, can't tell when I am." She was ridiculously pleased with herself.

  "That's it. You're mine until Monday. I'll pull out my gun if I have to."

  Monday.

  It seemed like a lifetime from now.

  "Hey," Aidan said. "The woman who stripped down to her panties and a T-shirt, then got in the shower with me and the dog? She'd stay."

  She certainly would. Which woman did Grace intend to be? She wasn't sure, but she wanted those days, wanted every moment.

  With him.

  * * *

  They went to bed ridiculously early again, this time on a makeshift bed Aidan made from a couple of foam mattresses lashed together on the floor in front of the fire. Grace wouldn't sleep in the double bed in the other room. She hadn't even needed to tell him that. He'd fixed a new space for them without her saying a word.

  So, he'd been serious with his offer. She got to sleep in his arms. She'd have been embarrassed to ask, to say she really wanted to and how much it meant to her. But he hadn't made her ask. He'd just made them a bed to share.

  She was a little more nervous climbing into the bed that night than she had been the first night, because she liked him so much more now. He was so sexy in that tough-guy-with-a-huge-gentle-streak way.

  Grace had the bathroom first, changing into a pair of her own pajamas to wear that night, and climbed into the makeshift bed, rolling onto her side, facing the fire. Tink came to stand over her with a puzzled look on his face, sniffing her and the blankets and then wandering away behind her. A moment later, she felt the foam mattress give with his weight as he settled in on top of the blankets behind her.

  Aidan laughed out loud when he came into the room and saw them. He told the dog, "No. That is my spot. You, off."

  Tink cried and looked to Grace for a reprieve.

  "Sorry, baby. I love you," she said. "But he's even better to snuggle with than you are."

  "Yeah, you heard it. Off," Aidan ordered him again, and Tink got off.

  "He is nice and warm," Grace said, back on her side, facing the fire, as Aidan climbed into the bed.

  "So am I." He rolled onto his side behind her.

  Slowly, carefully, he fit the front of his body to the back of hers, with one of his arms stretched out straight under her head. The other arm circled her waist, a hand slipping beneath her pajama top to press flat and warm against her belly.

  She shivered a bit, couldn't help it.

  "Still cold?" he asked, his mouth so close to her ear she felt his breath warm against the side of her face.

  "No," she admitted, turning her face back toward his to press a soft, quick kiss to his cheek.

  He buried his nose in her hair and said, "Mmm. Am I making you nervous, Grace?"

  "No... well, only because—"

  "We both want more than this—"

  "Yes," she admitted, the glorious heat of his body soaking into her.

  "I'm not going to do anything. I'm no
t even going to let myself kiss you, not really. We can let this be enough for now."

  It was so very good. Still, a part of her wanted to roll over into his arms and forget about everything they'd agreed to, wanted his hands all over her and hers all over him, every stitch of clothing between them gone. She wanted to just feel. No more thinking. No more worrying. Only feeling. She was sure he could give her that.

  But they had agreed, and this surely was the smart thing to do.

  They had three more days, after all.

  Anything could happen in three days.

  * * *

  Aidan woke up exactly the same way he had the previous morning, with a hand cupping one perfect, luxuriously soft breast, their bodies pressed intimately together, toasty warm and so happy.

  The only thing that could have made it better was an erection, and the fact that he didn't have one was really starting to piss him off. But that could wait for another time.

  He closed his eyes and let himself feel the near-perfection of that early morning—Grace and how good she smelled, her sweetly curved bottom pressed firmly against his body, her breast in his hand. Showing what he considered a super-human level of control, he didn't let that hand move, didn't let his thumb go searching for her nipple to brush against it, didn't do anything but breathe and hold her. Life was sweet torture at the moment.

  He was preparing himself to force his hand to move away when she surprised him. Her own hand came to rest on top of his, holding it where it was, on her breast.

  "I didn't know you were awake," he whispered.

  "I'm not. I'm maybe one-quarter of the way awake, just awake enough to sense that you were about to move, and I don't want you to."

  He smiled, nosed his way through her hair to find the side of her forehead and kiss it.

  "Tell me again why we shouldn't really do anything," she said.

  "Well, we've only known each other for two days—"

  "I'm betting you've met a woman and taken her home with you that same night," she argued.

  "Okay. Yeah. Guilty. You?"

  "No."

  "Didn't think so," he said.

  "That doesn't mean I can't."

  "Doesn't mean you should start," he reasoned. "Especially not at this point in your life. You should be careful, Grace. Really think things through. You're so vulnerable right now."

  "Okay, yeah. You're probably right. What else?"

  "Other than the fact that I'm afraid I couldn't finish anything we started?" he said, hating that.

  "We don't know that. Not unless we really try. And you want to know don't you?"

  "Honestly, Grace, part of me is afraid to know. Figuring out that it's not going to work is really not what I want for the first time we're together." He wanted to dazzle her. He wanted to blow her mind, to make her scream, and leave her absolutely exhausted and completely, without question, satisfied.

  "So, you'd really rather worry about that than be with me?"

  "No, but I sure as hell don't want you to regret this, either—"

  "Surely you don't think I'm going to get upset if this doesn't work the way you want the first time we try?"

  The first time?

  He loved the sound of that.

  "No. You wouldn't do that. But I know you're still confused and hurt by what your husband did to you, and that makes me even more determined that you don't regret anything you and I do together. Which reminds me, Grace. You still call him your husband." Helluva thing to think about when he was lying here with his hand on her breast after sleeping beside her all night. "Please tell me you're not still married."

  "He is most definitely not my husband anymore."

  "Good." That was a relief, a huge one. "Go back to sleep. It's still really early. I'll build up the fire before I take the dog out."

  "You really like to get up this early?" she asked sleepily.

  "I don't need a lot of sleep, and my muscles tend to stiffen up overnight. I need to walk it out in the morning. Plus, there's a certain spot on the road where I can almost always get cell service. So I make calls now, too."

  "Mmm. Everything okay?"

  "Yeah, I just check in with my doctor, my CO, sometimes my brother."

  Reluctantly, he pulled his hand from beneath her top, smoothed back her hair and kissed her cheek. He got out of bed and tucked the blankets around her, wanting to make sure she didn't get cold, determined to get this right. She was going to be absolutely sure of what she wanted before they did anything. Because if she wasn't, if she regretted it later, he might never see her again, his chance with her ruined, and there was no way Aidan was going to let that happen.

  The tough thing would be figuring out when she was sure. When any decision she made about him wasn't ruled by hurt and anger toward her ex-husband more than anything else.

  He didn't want to be the rebound guy. The revenge guy.

  He wanted to be the guy. The only one.

  Which was likely some ridiculous pipedream, considering his life at the moment. But that's what he wanted, and Aidan Shaw was a man who hadn't wanted anything at all in months. So he was going to do everything he possibly could to make her his.

  Quickly, he got ready, and then he and the dog were out the door. It was a clear, brisk morning, peaceful as could be. He couldn't deny it, this place had been good for him. He'd needed to think, to breathe, to start to heal. He got to the right spot on the road and called his brother, who groaned as he answered.

  "Still not sleeping?"

  "Actually, I've slept really well the last two nights," Aidan said. "And it's after six. I know your alarm has already gone off at least once. Get your ass out of bed."

  "Yeah, yeah." Tommy groaned. "What's going on with you? You sound almost... happy."

  "I am," Aidan admitted. "I met someone."

  "No way!"

  "I did."

  "Scrawny, pale, half-crippled, in the middle of friggin' nowhere, and you met someone?"

  "Yeah, I did." Aidan laughed, it felt so good.

  "You have always been the luckiest son of a bitch alive when it comes to women. You know that, don't you?"

  "I think I've surpassed any kind of luck I ever had with this one. She's... God, she's amazing. I can't believe she just walked into my life, especially now. This is a woman you keep, you know?"

  "Shit, you got it bad for her already."

  "I do, Tommy."

  "Does she know... everything?"

  "Some of it. That I'm in the military, that I got hurt, that I'm a mess, but not how bad. Not yet."

  "Well, it's not the kind of thing you spill on a first date. I mean, how long have you known her?"

  "Forty-three hours, give or take," he admitted.

  Tommy laughed. "That long, huh?"

  "I mean, this woman... Guys get stupid, just looking at her, and the way she looks isn't even the best thing about her. Far from it. Although, a man could be very happy just looking at her."

  "Makes me think of the way guys reacted to Zach's little sister years ago. Shit, the way I reacted when I saw her. Did I ever tell you about that?"

  Aww, hell. Aidan just hadn't been thinking. That was the only explanation he had for saying what he had to his brother, who'd obviously met Grace at some point.

  "I literally could not speak, and I wasn't some teenager," his brother continued. "I was, like, twenty-four, in law school, and I'd been warned. Zach and I had a bet—whether I'd be able to put a coherent sentence together in her presence within five minutes of meeting her, and I literally could not speak."

  "I understand, believe me. She asked me not to be like everybody else and get stupid over her looks, but it's not easy." Aidan had to say it, because he was so damned happy at the moment, with a woman so beautiful she'd rendered his brother speechless.

  Tommy was going to have a fit when he found out.

  It was quiet for a long time, and then finally, Tommy said, "Please tell me we're not talking about Zach's little sister."

  Aid
an thought about it. There were things he didn't tell his brother, but he didn't lie to him. Still, he doubted Grace wanted anyone to know she was here, and that was her right, to tell only who she wanted, when she wanted, if she wanted. And everything Aidan had said about him and her possibly having a relationship was pure wishful thinking on his part. Painful as it was to admit he knew the idea had so little basis in reality.

  So Aidan either told his brother the truth, then asked his brother to keep their secret, or Aidan lied. It was his mistake, his responsibility, so he did it. He lied.

  "No. Why?" He made himself laugh it off. "The guy's a little overprotective?"

  "He is, but the thing is, she just lost her husband a few months ago."

  "Lost?" What the hell? "As in—"

  "Died. I meant to tell you. It just slipped my mind. Didn't want you to say the wrong thing, in case you ran into her down there."

  Aidan froze, feeling like he had that time four or five years ago when his parachute hadn't opened all the way, and he'd fought the whole time he was in the air, but still managed to get it functioning at only about sixty percent by the time he hit the ground. Hard. Which is what he suspected it must have felt like to Grace to have the man die, and only then find out he'd been unfaithful to her.

  He assumed that was how it happened. She'd said someone from the college had cut the lock off his locker, and that's where she'd found the condoms. That seemed like something someone would do for a man's wife after the man died.

  And wasn't that just the nastiest kick in the teeth, coming on top of the guy dying? She would never be able to ask him anything, would be left all alone to work out the myriad of emotions she must have felt upon learning he'd been unfaithful.

  "So, what happened to the guy?" Aidan asked, because he had to say something.

  "Nasty car accident. Coming back from... Well, let's just say some place he shouldn't have been, given the fact that the guy was married. Although, that is definitely something not to mention to anyone, especially not the sister."

  Fuck. Did that mean what he thought it meant? That they knew? Grace's family fucking knew? "The dead guy was cheating on Zach's sister, and they didn't even tell her?"

  "The guy was dead, and I don't think they really had anything concrete in terms of proof. Just a lot of suspicions," Tommy said. "You gonna tell the sister you love that not only has she lost her husband, but, by the way, he was cheating on her, too?"